“These mfs can’t win a single game without me?”

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex addict on drugs music smh

Diet Coke is just a fridge cigarette

Being called by your real name in a relationship kinda sounds like a divorce.

bet u feel dumb right now

Teacher doesn’t know the true meaning of PAIN

“You’ve turned her against me cuh”

Me and the boys watching UFC legally next year with no fear of stream crashing

When you're tired of fake laughing at coworkers jokes so u just start looking at them like this

Me in my livingroom watching the Bad Bunny Concert

Him doing the Mexican whistle is genuinely way more impressive than everything he did in The Revenant.

why are weekends starting to feel like a 30 minute lunch break

Some days I wake up so happy that Israel has free Healthcare. I cant tell you how amazing it is to know that when they choose to attack another country we gladly dedicate our lives and treasure to fight for them. God's chosen people. Never voting for an aipac candidate again.

“okay bet” is a legally binding contract in California

bitches b doin drugs thinkin they’re from euphoria, bitch you’re frank gallagher

Male baristas don’t deserve tips… go pour some concrete you fuckin pussy

Looksmaxxers always existed we just used to call them faggots

Imagine paying 4500 dollars for Coachella tickets because Justin Bieber is headlining and he gets on stage with his laptop and plays 30 seconds of his old songs on YouTube.

Why is Justin Bieber doing YouTube karaoke at Coachella pls?

What Sabrina Carpenter sounds like to girls: