Dads love saying, “I can see 3 eggs from where I’m standing that you haven’t found yet.”

there should be a separate TSA line for people who are apparently experiencing their first day on earth

hello sharks. i am asking for a day between sunday and monday

Washington Commanders I’m about to start a GoFundMe for Terry if y’all won’t pay him the fans will

i can’t stop throwing up i think someone spiked my 9 beers, 4 hot dogs, 6 smoked ribs, 1 brisket sandwhich, 8 slices of watermelon, 3 cupcakes, and 4 chocolate chip cookies i don’t know

bagels r so good shoutout bagels

Really craving some buffalo chicken dip and 12 straight hours of college football

This man is engaged to the world's most famous pop star.

🤣😂🤣😂🤣😂

if stranger things was british it would be called bit odd innit

Taco Bell be like damn this shit is delicious take it off the menu

Did you know, if you lose a sock in the dryer, it comes back as a Tupperware lid, that doesn't fit any of your containers.

every single superbowl recipe starts with two whole blocks of cream cheese

Driving to my 9-to-5 job while drug dealers and 8-year-old YouTubers buy their third property.

hey if you ever need me i’m only 7 unread texts & a missed call away