can we please agree that no one is actually playing pickleball, this is not a thing we’re doing and we can all stop pretending

“autism wasn’t this much of a problem when i was young” oh sorry you’re right, 60-year-old coworker who has been part of the same train lovers club for the last 35 years and works in finance so he doesn’t have to make small talk

hacking adhd by absolutely blasting club music into my ears at a volume that would terrify god and drinking a medically unadvisable amount of caffeine just to write an email i have been avoiding for two weeks

one of the things that keeps me going is that animals might be more self aware than humans know. maybe right now a dolphin is breaking up with his girlfriend being like “you’re always so selfish brenda”

i contain multitudes but unfortunately all of them are delusional

if i landed someplace strange and was forced to go find some mysterious guy with three other guys missing key human features only to discover i could have gone home at any time, i think i’d be dropping a few more houses before i left

it’s school vacation week and i am trying to let these kids “make memories” but i am afraid i am the only one with these memories and they are bad

happy autism acceptance month, in which i accept that i can no longer do two things in one day without having some kind of breakdown