Alexa Geltzeiler (@geltzisboss) 's Twitter Profile
Alexa Geltzeiler

@geltzisboss

bourbon, baseball, biology

ID: 43755563

calendar_today31-05-2009 21:04:17

7,7K Tweet

195 Followers

283 Following

Alexa Geltzeiler (@geltzisboss) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I don’t think “3 sheets to the wind” accurately captures my drunk feelings so I am heretofore coining a phrase of my invention “7 sheets to the moon”

Alexa Geltzeiler (@geltzisboss) 's Twitter Profile Photo

You noticed I was 2 bloody mary’s and 0 glasses of water in and offered to “buy me a glass of water” and I’ve just learned this is my love language

Alexa Geltzeiler (@geltzisboss) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I like when a phone rings when I’m with my mom and she says “is that yours or mine” as if I haven’t had my phone on vibrate since 2013

Alexa Geltzeiler (@geltzisboss) 's Twitter Profile Photo

A man just told me he’s never used an umbrella in his life like that’s some kind of flex and I can confidently say the straight men are not ok

Alexa Geltzeiler (@geltzisboss) 's Twitter Profile Photo

As a kid my football knowledge was so heavily dependent on NFL Blitz 2001 on Nintendo 64 that I truly thought real NFL teams could opt for a completely ✨free point✨ after a touchdown.

Alexa Geltzeiler (@geltzisboss) 's Twitter Profile Photo

If I had to rank all the responses I’ve ever gotten to “I’m a genetic counselor,” the top 5 has a new member: “That’s some Jurassic park shit!!!”

Alexa Geltzeiler (@geltzisboss) 's Twitter Profile Photo

A bar guy™️ just asked me how old I am and I pulled a 180 and asked him, and he looked HORRIFIED. Ladies this is your reminder to treat bar creeps the way they treat you ❤️

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Obliviously, I ask the bartender, do you serve food? Little does she know I’ve already looked the menu up online and I know exactly what I want

Alexa Geltzeiler (@geltzisboss) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I stepped onto the train platform at Mets-Willets point with a full Bud Light and I was told to dispose her so I chugged it and yelled "protect trans kids" because I'm feeling spicy

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On my first watch of the Sopranos, two takeaway are emerging: 1) this show convinced a generation of men that hanging out at a strip club in the middle of the day on a Wednesday is a normal thing to do, and 2) for men who are so afraid of appearing gay they sure do kiss A LOT

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The female equivalent of all men believing they could safely land a plane is that I'm pretty sure I could safely deliver a baby with 10 seasons of Call the Midwife under my belt

Alexa Geltzeiler (@geltzisboss) 's Twitter Profile Photo

If someone were to ask Tim Walz if anyone were sitting in the seat next to him, he's the kind of guy to respond, "yeah! You are!"