City girls music so mean. Like I don’t deserve no pussy cause I’m financially unstable? Like no pussy at all?

trying to move through the world with love & whimsy when your brain is constantly screaming BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD

My landlord doesn’t know that I have a pet so I had to lock my cat in the toilet for a whole hour while the handyman was here and he decided to meow at the last minute when he just leaving

Walking out of the ancient temple after triggering every single trap on my way out

i suppose nazi immigration and customs enforcement is a better name after all

Bruno Mars looked at Pete Wentz (Fall Out Boy) on this day 18 years ago.

my friend henry painted the frog

I keep thinking how the families of passengers who imploded in that submersible were given their people back as seafloor goop. And if that ever happens to me, just leave me there. I belong to the crabs and hagfish now.

I had to stop reading the Dune series because I kept talking like Muad’Dib and it was pissing off everyone in my life

Hey, my boyfriend and I noticed you from across the bar and we were wondering if you have any Dyatlov Pass theories

The Academy has banned AI from ever winning an Oscar. • Only roles “demonstrably performed by humans with their consent” can be nominated for acting Oscars • Screenplays “must be human-authored” to qualify for a nomination

I didn’t see a single “it’s gonna be May” meme this year which is personally a massive relief, but culturally a signifier of something much darker.

busy weekend

you may like Bisexual Butter Chicken

just got out of mother mary. as soon as the credits rolled someone in my row yelled RUDY GIULIANI IS IN CRITICAL CONDITION

i was eating sun dried tomatoes and i said to my son whos obviously a cat “ur telling me my son dried these tomatoes” and i thought my delivery was so good but he looked at me like it was so stupid it somehow transcended the language barrier