Brokering a deal with the Italians! 🤌🇮🇹🍕🍝

Prescient

Ways to save money when you’re poor 🍔🍟🚰🤤

You: *pronounces Bon Iver as it's written*

Most annoying guy you know, barely able to conceal his delight: what did you just say

'Until now, this was the only way to get juice from an orange.'

On this day 28 years ago, the Steamed Hams skit aired on The Simpsons.

Brokering a deal with the Italians! 🤌🇮🇹🍕🍝

I love how Christopher Nolan will make a kinda brilliant movie, but in the middle of it, he’ll do something goofy like name Matt Damon’s character in “Interstellar” Dr. Hugh Mann because GET IT?? His name is HUGH MANN, because he represents HUMANS 🤦‍♀️ HUGH MANN!

Since I’ve been seeing people post their favorite Conan sketches, here’s a classic! youtu.be/IXh1D_vrb3k?si…

One of my favorite old Conan bits was when they'd let their show's graphic designer come out in a recliner and awkwardly rant about something extremely nerdy for two straight minutes.

Portland, Oregon! Tickets on sale now! portland5.com/winningstad-th…

Free lyric for Eminem if he wants it:

Walk a mile in my shoes, and take the EM-path 😏

I stopped texting guys because they always sound mad. I don’t know if you know this but every man’s cell phone’s punctuation and emoji keys are broken. “How you doing” “I’m good, you” “my dog is sick and I’m sad” “I am sorry your mother died” okay dude sorry for whatever I did 😒

Having fun with a heckler at Punch Line! I rarely post these because I surprisingly rarely get heckled but this was too fun not to post 😇

vaxxed?

What's the best moment where a character REALIZES something?

Portland, Oregon! I’ll be there 9/27, tickets on sale this Friday! portland5.com/winningstad-th…

If I were giving a eulogy at his funeral, I would very dramatically say “most people knew him as OJ Simpson but in the end, I think he was OK Simpson” and wipe a single tear away 🥲

Hi! 💇‍♀️🥰❤️

CHILLS. I LOVE WRESTLING.

#AEWDynamite