I'm so glad you had to verify I would put lemon with your water only to not use it. #serverlife #serverproblems

Confessions of the shift lead: you work more than everyone because you WILL work more than everyone else. #schedulenazi #serverproblems

I love when you ask a table if they want drinks & they're like "no I'll just have water" that's a drink you fuck #serverprobs

Why do I feel like my job is an exercise in mental gymnastics? #serverlife

Stop telling me to speak slower, listen faster you dumb old fuck! #serverlife #serverproblems

It amazes me the shit that people will put up with at other businesses, but would never tolerate if they were in a restaurant. #serverlife

For example, Lowes has ONE register open & a huge line. Walmart? The same, but worse. Try that shit in a restaurant.

Oh noobs & their refusal to do running sidework... how I will destroy you. Let me count the ways. #serverlife #serverproblems

In my sexiest voice: "Oh chef, let me be your thorn!" --Dryly, "I don't need anymore thorns." #truelife #serverlife

It's a "lock-the-doors-and-set-this-place-ablaze" sort of shift. #serverproblems

"I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion." - Miguel de Cervantes bit.ly/1wUXnMV #mcm

youtu.be/LTsk_hRoFTE #serverLife #ServerProblems Luke Server Girl @smartasswaitres@GrumpyBartender

Regional manager told me, "Now I understand why you drink so much. It's this place."

#DearCustomer your inability to read/ask questions about our menu does not make me responsible for the food not being what you wanted

After having problems deciding, a table tonight actually said “Sorry, we’re both really high right now.” Amazing.

Your office is closed on Labor Day but restaurants are ALWAYS open. Do something NICE for the people cooking and serving for you today.

The first cocktail after work helps to forget the last table, the second to forget the whole night, the third to forget you’re a waiter.

Being a foodie is not a talent.