My Sunday: "Jesus forgives ALL our sins, so I can treat people HOWEVER I like." Me: "That's not actually how the whole Jesus thing works."

When my lady brain is thinkin' REAL hard, I give the inadvertent "Bitch Face." Don't tell me to smile while I'm not pretty enough for you.

"What do you DO for a living?" Well right, now Richard, I'm getting you ANOTHER Coke, cuz it pays the bills. Very well.

Sounds like a *great* place to work

2/3 of my tables stiffed me. Not worried.....this is the life I chose....

If you recognize any of the Nazis marching in #Charlottesville, send me their names/profiles and I'll make them famous #GoodNightAltRight

This angry young man is Peter Cvjetanovic, a student at University of Nevada, Reno

The "Don't talk politics at the bar" rule should be strictly enforced. You're not changing my mind. Actually, you're just pissing me off.

LIVE: Tonight Trump sent a message that it's ok to break the law as long as its to further a white supremacist agend pscp.tv/w/bG93ujFkdktP…

In dog years I am so fucking tired.

My idea of a night out is locking myself in the bedroom with Netflix and an 18 pack. Fuck anxiety.

So glad it's Friday, so I can Power Hour AGAIN and barely make it through a Saturday shift #tgif

Ask my kid if she wants to run errands with me and she says, "No. It's way too people-y out there." I agree. Order all we need from Amazon.

This is me, because of my job with the public.

Guest told me I have a beautiful nose. I don't suggest stealing his line.

You cussing at every person you've had contact with since you entered the restaurant says a lot more about YOU than it does about US. I feel bad for your family. They have to put up with your cranky ass all the time.

Guest complained that the chocolate shake tasted like vanilla ice cream with chocolate syrup. Which is exactly how it's made, and always has been.

Cook came to work so drunk and stoned that he passed out on the back prep table. Rookie.

Actually had to explain to a cook why we can't microwave the dessert AFTER the ice cream is on it. Our kitchen is going to shit.

16 y/o host bought a Lincoln with money she saved when servers paid her to do their sidework. I'm doing this Life thing all wrong.