when ur friend doesn't show up to work

Hello? "Ah so you are open now?" Yes "When will you close?" 5 pm "Will you be open around 1?" Seriously? #stupidquestion #retailproblems

Me: dont touch the plate it's hot. Customer: *touches plate* Ow! Thats hot! Me: um yeah Customer:I didnt think itd be that hot! #serverlife

I just lol'd so hard. Customer asked for a "Grey Goose & Vodka" at one of my favorite bars. You just can't make this up! #bartenderproblems

"Hey folks how are you doing today?" *Makes eye contact around the table* *Recognizes people who were at the same bar as you 12 hours ago*

I had high hopes for tonight until I got sat with a 7 top of foreigners…lots of food and alcohol for them and 5% for me 😊 #TYSM

I should have known it would be bad when they shouted "Can you hurry up already we are hungry!" while I dropped off a check to another table

Your bill= $100 my tip= $20 Your bill= $75 after "I know the chef" discount my tip= $14 You= not getting discount next time Me= ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Me: "Can I get you anything else?" Customer: "A stack of hundreds maybe." Me: "If I had that I wouldn't be here serving tonight"

When cust. complains about a dish after they've already eaten. "Just let the chef know". Yeah, ok, I'll get right on that. #serverproblems

The 3 most hated words in the industry, "ITS MY BIRTHDAY!!!"

Me: *Drops off check* "Here you are folks. I'll take that whenever you're ready." *Starts to walk away*

Customer: "You better stay…things could get interesting. She and I have some questions for this man and I've got a knife in my hand"

Me: *chuckles and walked away* *listens to the drama from a distance*

Sorry, but I don't want to be a witness to murder. Plus if my section is a crime scene maybe I won't have to clean it.

Money > Free time ❤️💸