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Mobile observation platform.. 😅

spring: depressed in a hopeful way summer: depressed in a manic way fall: depressed in a nostalgic way winter: depressed in a depressed way

drink your baja blast in a mug for the fall aesthetic

Speakership update: fuck.

A priest, a pastor and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: “what’s your blood type?” “I’m probably a type O”, said the rabbit.

This incredibly sincere white guy trying Indian food for the very first time and having his mind blown is so wholesome

Me: *hears a stealthy footstep in the hallway* Me: "This is your third time up. Go back to bed." 7yo: *frantically* "Wait -- wait Daddy --" Me: "Whatever it is, tell me in the morning." 7yo: *gasp* "IfYouWereADolphinYou'dBeDeadAlready BecauseDolphinsOnlyLiveThirtyYears."

calling my representatives isn’t enough. i need to slap my representatives

taylor swift in 2011: from when your brooklyn broke my skin and bones i’m a soldier who’s returning half her weight, and did the twin flame bruise paint you blue? just between us, did the love affair maim you too? travis kelce in 2011: i just gave a squirle a peice of bread

Them: Don't talk about gerrymandering during Thanksgiving Me:

Someone said they don't see a difference between how Hoffman dresses here and how many guys dress today, so I thought I'd run through some points. What makes these outfits better than what we see today? 🧵

I will never recover from this student email.