🚨 NEW: Sadiq Khan has pledged £30m to fund late-night youth clubs in every London borough to tackle crime

"They're saying you should stop trying to take credit for things you haven't done. It's embarrassing everyone..."

Bookies on Grand National day when people like me show up for the first time in a year to stick £10 on a horse with diabetes just because its name sounds like my granny's dog's name

He best be starting Rio midweek v PSG

Tyson Fury may well be the winner of this fight, but the losers are people like me, who made sure they spent their Saturday night watching it

How are we not reintroducing death penalty for these sick fucks?

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

Works every time

MPs are being encouraged to take their dildos into Parliament in the hope they can fuck themselves rather than the country for a change.

EU leaders assisting Trump to reopen the Strait of Hormuz.

I like the gym because seeing the same 5 people every day and never speaking to them is the kind of socializing I enjoy

Стандартная позиция человека, который решает проблемы других:

Two weeks ago, you invited a LITERAL ISIS TERRORIST to 10 Downing Street.

🗣️ 🚨Liam Rosenior : "In English, 'Brighton', if you split the two words is 'bright' and 'on', so you need to be bright and switched on to beat Brighton. Today, we weren’t either.”

Cost of sacking Liam Rosenior: £24m Cost of buying Sheffield Wednesday: £20m When sacking a manager costs more than a club in the Championship, it's probably time to start addressing those financial oblivion questions in football.

Wishing you a happy #StGeorgesDay! 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿❤️

🚨 BREAKING: British oil and gas giant BP has more than doubled profits due to the Iran war - from $1.38bn to $3.2bn

WHAT A GAME!!!!!!

En Aitch Ess Our brave officers confronted a man they believed to be a terrorist, who refused to show his hands, who was violent, and who continued to pose a clear threat. Using only their training, courage and tasers, they detained him while he continued to try to attack and stab them. This