Being an armadillo seems nice. If you’re nervous or scared you can just @

I wanna go here so bad

the dinosaurs didn’t deserve to go out like that. they should still be here fucking us up

who invented cheezeits and how do we as a species pay them back

i dont have time for this

If you nut in 2 minutes from doggy style that’s actually 14 minutes in dog minutes

mom can you come pick me up? nobody is rolling up the plastic cereal bag here, they’re just leaving it wide open inside the box

That scene in a zombie movie where the guy is telling his friend to just kill him bc he's turning into a zombie and there's no hope except it's me turning into a wine mom as I get older

[it starts to get cold outside] bears: yeah fuck this. i’m going to sleep until it’s warm again. this is bullshit

Yuhhh