To review: - Politics is to be manipulated only by K Street. - The stock market is to be manipulated only by Wall St. - Dissemination of information is to be manipulated only by corporate media outlets. Those are the rules.

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“We live in a world where the funeral matters more than the dead, the wedding more than love and the physical rather than the intellect. We live in the container culture, which despises the content.” Eduardo Galeano

Peloton is emblematic of our debt-driven, farcical global economy. Our global economy is basically a scaled-up Peloton and will suffer the same fate. x.com/TheBubbleBubbl…

hot sauce sommelier: sir? date: ... me, severely panicking: uh.. the... 1976 aaah.. Satan's Scorched Rectum? sommelier: excellent choice sir

Me: [to subway commuter] "Could you tell me when this train will be leaving for Penn Station? So far all they've done is make sandwiches."

PRIEST: And if anyone has any reason these two... BEST MAN: I'm the best man, shouldn't she marry me? P: (to bride) That makes sense.

KIDNAPPER: tell me or i shoot ME: the question's too hard KIDNAPPER: does biweekly mean once every 2 weeks or twice a week ME: just shoot me

I'm not saying her clothes were tight, but taking them off reminded me of opening a tube of biscuit dough.

Damn that ass wont quit. nor can we fire it without probable cause

Guess it makes sense to invest your money in a place where they take the time to chain a pen to a counter

Sir the bank was just robbed Did they get the pens? No they're still chained to the counter Thank god

J.J. Abrams's full name is Jesus Jesus Abrahamicreligions

@julie2288 need to give them the "always be closing" speech from Glengarry Glen Ross

My cat is startled, staring into the night. Something's out there. I am frightened. But then he licks his balls & I know everything's ok

@drhappyknuckles x.com/Cvetocek6/stat… x.com/UniqueDude2/st…