Your legs are a whole different part of your body so that makes sense

Website I have not visited in many months, have possibly never visited at all: You've read your last free article.

babysitting a bulldog and we’ve fallen into a cool dynamic. i chill on the couch and he stares at a wall and gasps like an astronaut whose helmet cracked

I have announced the following tariffs: Wife: 50% Kid 1: 30% Kid 2: 25% Mother-in-law: 100% Dog: 0%

No matter how bad my 401k looks tomorrow I still got this 🇺🇸

First mexican immigrant to go there and open a taco truck will create generational wealth

call me Gal Gadot the way I wouldn’t know how to act when this comes out

One bit that I can't stop doing even though nobody has ever found it funny is whenever someone tells me what city they're from no matter what I'll say "ah, the windy city"

a religious person skipping church ? call that a

J. K. Rowling naming an Italian Hogwarts student

Pope Francis

there should be a separate TSA line for people who are apparently experiencing their first day on earth

This isn't that impressive, they make you do this on Spirit sometimes

Shout out to the painter working on the house next door BLASTING the audiobook of Middlemarch from a Bluetooth speaker strapped to his belt

One thing I’m proud of as an American is that even during our descent into fascism we have some fun days.

Top 10 days on this app 1. Luigi 2. Oceangate 3. Today 4. The Queen 5. Donald getting covid 6. Biden dropping out 7. Will Smith slap 8. Montgomery boat brawl 9. Luka trade 10. Couch guy

This is Winston. He went for his first-ever walk today. Also took his first-ever mid-walk nap today. Please don’t pass without leaving him a heart ❤️

Church historian in 2500: The zuchetto was originally a skullcap. The first American pope Leo XIV modified the zuchetto to include a large front brim, and this style became adopted by subsequent popes. The stylized SOX means "Successor of Christ" (the X from the Greek Xristos)."