Good morning 🤍🖤☕

made it to 44 wahoo

You people need to start thinking about your Halloween costume.

Happy Friday!

Happy Birthday
Carol Burnett!

Do friends let friends know about a typo in their five-year old tweet?

A caffeinated mental breakdown doubles as physical activity.

It's gotten to the point where my most treasured memories are the ones I can't remember.

“This is such a huge financial loss” me, after accidentally dropping a blueberry.

There are so many broken dreams and hopes that come from putting raisins in a cookie. I wish more people knew this.

Ok that’s enough funky music, white boy.

20s: would never leave the house in pyjamas

40s: will only leave the house if I can wear pyjamas

That seems like a lie like 'non-stick pan' or 'customer service.'

in another incarnation i must have died giving birth; the idea always terrified me

Can’t … busy

When am I supposed to take my Christmas tree down? They didn't tell me.

Real talk : Everyone's a gangster until you try and get up out of a hammock

My sweet Hunnybee