I’m pet here just like

Life is what you make of it!

- chooses day drinking and making poor choices.

I’m mature enough to know that I have faults too.

Just kidding, no I don’t.

It’s the worst day of the year

Republicans: How dare Democrats wave the Ukrainian flag in Congress!

Also Republicans:

This man found this little bunny alone and grown it

Religion is a private matter

If someone asks me to squint my eyes to see something my immediate answer is fuck you.

Well well well, looks like somebody woke up on the wrong side of the Crime Scene Tape.

In honor of 4/20. ✌️

Everyday is 420 if you’re not a little bitch

I’m urging all governors to pardon prior state offenses of simple possession of marijuana.

No one should be in a federal prison solely due to the possession of marijuana, and no one should be in a local jail or state prison for that reason, either.

Smoking joints alone is so much more enjoyable than passing it.

Teacher: turn to page 23

Page 23:

Trump supporters are the dumbest assholes on planet Earth.

Did the Bermuda Triangle just stop working one day? Why does no one spontaneously combust anymore? What happened to all the quicksand???