Good lord. I'm not done with traveling, but I am DEFINITELY done with packing. #nomadlife #neverstopmoving #onecityaftertheother

My mom and the quantity of shit she makes me carry around for her reminds me of why I only have a 30kg bag. #thanksmom

Every time I move I throw half of my shit away. Seriously, man. What's the point of all this crap? #plantoendupwith10kgstops

All these people dreaming about a big TV and an even bigger house. I want an effing hammock. #hammocklife #livinginamaterialworld

That whole "if life gives you lemons, make lemonade" deal is BULLSHIT. When life gives you lemons you curse the shit out of that crap.

Current no-goes: less than 10 mugs of coffee a day, relationships, life without 3 blankets on top of me #coldasshit #thanksbrazil

Recently acquired pick up lines: Your daddy must have been a drug dealer, 'cos you're dope. #sobeautiful #andphilosophical

I take everything back. It's been so cold, that I'm considering getting married. #suchalady #romanceisundermyskin #soaremypills

Snaccidents are the real deal. I mean, I accidentaly ate an entire bag of Cheetos. And chips. With guacamole. And snickers. Total accident.

Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going. #stuffweallneedtoremember

#SoOneTimeMyDad used a family football game to kick my boyfriend at the time as hard as he could. Still says it was an accident.

That friend that goes - "You order desert. I'll just steal a bite or two". Stay....away...from...my...food.

I will never understand people who actually enjoy going to a mall. Seriously. WHY?

If you do see me inside a mall : I was kidnapped. I decided to visit my dad, and I'm probably drunk while doing it. I lost my will to live.

Figured out my good deed of the year. Gonna eat more so that obesity doesn't spread.

There are comebacks I should have thought of at a particular time, that still haunt me at night. Man, do I wish I could use them now.

Whenever Buffer asks me "what do you want to share" and I'm eating : Get lost, this cake is mine. Claudia doesn't share food.

So I got my mom addicted to mad men. Got home after a weekend and she was caught up. I'm still on season 6. Huge mistake.

No matter what the question is, the answer is always chocolate. #chocolate #addiction

My life. All so boring. Then all of a sudden I break a tooth, move to a diff country and get married, all in two days. #totallynormal