Never giving these two fools a breast exam again!!!

only bird people will get this

i like this pic because every single human in frame is very closely related to me yet it looks like a modern photographic Renaissance random assortment of characters

People Magazine releases Sexiest Man Alive at midnight. If it's not Pedro Pascal I'm closing Toms for the next 12 months in protest.

just realized i’ve done molly more times than i’ve tried cottage cheese

vibrator died, now I gotta use my taser

if you don’t like being kissed on the lips don’t be such a great friend

mario party minigames

Me after every minor inconvenience:

spring need to stop putting the tip in bro give it to me

Never deleting this app

having divorced parents as an adult is funny because you and your siblings are like damn who has custody of mom today

The land of free, but you have to walk around with documentation. The land of the free, but you need to obey orders from a masked, power hungry, trigger happy, group. The land of the free, but don’t interfere with injustice or else risk getting murdered. The land of the free but

i'm tired of that blonde woman. stop putting her in movies. stop putting her on my screen. just truly vapid.