I haven't known true joy since last November when Detective Daniel Craig said “THERE HAS BEEN A MUR-DAH”

how does everyone know when fruits are in season.. when did u learn that. did i miss fruit season day in algebra. did u swallow a farmers almanac. why are peaches only in season for 8 hours a year

this is the best day

ITS HERE ITS HERE! my favorite resource for voting in chicago.

i am so sad. one of the greats.

Haven’t fully picked all the NHL awards yet, but Martin Shkreli is a lock for the Con Smythe

Happy birthday to my crazy bestie🤪✨🤩❣️ can’t wait til this panny🦠💉 is over so we can go stupid crazy🕺🏻💃🏻✝️ for your bday aha🎉🎁🎊🎈

A shark could swim faster than me, but I could probably run faster than a shark. So in a triathlon, it would all come down to who is the better cyclist.

Youth Pastor: do you know who also crashed a market?

this has become my only goal and it is a fruitful one

“hot girl summer” is canceled, get ready for “old lady spring”: we’re staying indoors watching Bake-Off, wearing increasingly colorful cardigans, and solving the occasional crime in our retirement village

good lord, i’ve been on the bird app for over 12 years.

absolutely wild time, the past is.

🎶 all that we could do with this emotion 🎶 #pfizergang #halfvaxxed @ Lincoln, Lincolnshire instagram.com/p/CQG4dDkj1Lj/…

i just went through facebook and created a pool of embarrassing photos that yall can choose from if you donate enough money to make me share an embarrassing photo on stream and man, my face has lived so many lives

i’m doing this on friday 👍🏻

best day of the year

happy 11 year anniversary to beth lindly VA STANDS WITH SAG/WGA ✨💗🎙 - i’m choosing to believe this is a gift from the movie to you