if you find yourself on a rooftop of a school with a sniper rifle trained on a bunch of youths pitching tents it is time to quit your job and start your life over

NEWS: My friends and I now own and run The Onion. I’ll be the CEO.

We’re keeping the entire staff, bringing back The Onion News Network, and share the wealth with staff.

Basically, we’re going to let them do whatever they want. Get excited.

nytimes.com/2024/04/25/bus…

Goddammit.

hiya youse!
i'm doin fundraising for Brave Space Alliance, this cool and essential org here in Chicago! if you got some spare dollars burning a hole in your pocket, maybe throw a couple in this here link?
🪩🏳️‍⚧️🪩
classy.org/fundraiser/543…

The three genders:

Ah yes, the three stages of dog

omg they gave me a blue checkmark for being “influential” on twitter. they have simply reinvented the original blue check i’m laughing so hard

$70k/yr is considered low-income.

$20/hr is only $41,600/yr if you work full-time and never take time off.

$20/hr only sounds high because we’ve been told over and over it’s too high by the same businesses making record profits.

MORGONN Hi, chair of the commission who helped craft this policy in Kansas City.

First, these are single stall, all gender bathrooms that allow for greater privacy. There are gender specific bathrooms down the hall too.

Finally, don’t use my community to create fake outrage—it’s sad.

My 3yo found an Easter egg during the egg hunt that was obviously from last year, it was full of stale jellybeans covered with ants, opened it and yelled, excitedly “WOW I GOT AN ANT ONE!!!!!”

Reminder on where to find me these days can be found here under “all my socials”: linkpop.com/tinywerewolves

Still active, bitches

I grew up in the PNW, specifically Portland Oregon. If you didn’t know there are bridges *everywhere* - some small but some terrifyingly tall and arched. The big ones often have sections that float on the water.

I hated this one in particular as a kid: youtu.be/fjZO_rS5qxY?fe…

If my husband ever breaks his leg I’m going to insist he uses this. It has no sentimental value I just like it. Goes with my “antique chair” theme.

Everyone say hello to THE BOYS