People say they’re having a “garbage day” like it’s a bad thing.

Literaleigh is a beautiful name for a girl ❤️

"Look at me, I'm a human! I pay taxes, I have depression, I'm behind on chores!"

if i was getting eaten by a bear i would get a pet in real quick

united states mcflurry machine 🤝 not working for the people

She's a 10, but she's a 14, an 8, and a 12. She just wants to be able to buy pants online, but clothing sizes for women are bullshit.

y'all went back to open mouth coughing so damn fast

Just closed the Move ring on my Apple Watch by chasing the Mister Softee truck. 💪

founder of costco: [drunk as hell] it’s gonna have hot dogs and optometrists

Gender Inclusivity Win! This Coffee Shop Has No Bathrooms for Anyone: ow.ly/BggC50KtFe9

FRAUD ALERT: Local woman makes conflicting statements about her cat, claiming he is both a "big strong man" and a "tiny potato boy".

We’re half way through October. Ask yourself “have I been a spooky enough?!” If you haven’t, try to be more spooky

We know this plan will be out-of-date the day it's finalized, but let's spend seven months in meetings talking about it anyway.

Every Christmas my wife & I give each other cars and SUVs. Every single Christmas. It’s our tradition & we love it. Got an account with the huge bow store. Just the best to watch your person’s eyes light up seeing a brand new vehicle in the driveway. We will do this until death

ur really gonna act like that? when santa claus is literally coming to town

update: we are just 950,078 followers away from 1 million

This was a cabbage i grew in 2021 last year was not so good so better luck this year cheers

Peanut Butter Cookie