we got vaping squirrels and cocaine sharks now welcome to 2026 baby

Airline gave me $56 on a prepaid card for the delay and I spent it on an Hermes lipstick in the duty free

wake up babe a generational gif just dropped

i like to hold my cat’s arm cause it feels like a little crab leg

Marco Rubio finding out he has to be Kristi Noem’s husband

They’re saying this is Kristi Noem’s husband

Imagine if Obama said praise be to allah on Easter lmao

HAPPY EASTER! He has driven 🙏

no he actually posted praise be to allah

"Praise be to Allah, now open the fuckin Strait"

weird day where it's like well i do have a workout class this evening but do i go to it in case we do nuclear war at 8

explain it to me like i’m 30

Sent an email, Checked it off my to-do list and they responded in less than 5 minutes now I gotta add this to the list again

fiscally american socially european

i am overtired and hysterical crying i need everyone to stop

i’m fully crying over two children i don’t know

Please pray for our President. He has given so much to this country and it’s been at great personal cost. May the treatments give him the relief he needs.

i fucking knew it