Become a writer! Just squeeze it in between your two other jobs and full-time equivalent commitments!

unlike you liz, I’m working late because I’m a classically trained singer

IKEA INTERVIEWER: Welcome. Make a seat.

ME: Lol, you mean take a seat?

INTERVIEWER: *throwing a screwdriver at my head* MAKE A SEAT

I don’t know what upset my manager more - that I brought an Ouija board to the staff meeting, or that I asked her to dim the lights.

can’t believe I’m working late and I’m not even a singerrrrr

more medieval motivators have joined the party🎶🗡️

This is what Trump plans to do in a second term:

He would be willing to build migrant detention camps and deploy the U.S. military.

He would let red states monitor women's pregnancies and prosecute those who violate abortion bans.

He would be willing to fire a U.S. Attorney

I had to block the lady who stole her way on to the Brooklyn half marathon and lied about her time. I can't abide anyone making me mad or bummed out on the Internet that I pay for

Monday.

oh look another beautiful day. should we all quit our jobs and get margaritas outside?

“kill them with kindness” WRONG. chain lightning ⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡🌩️🌩️🌩️ ⛈️⛈️⛈️⛈️⛈️⛈️⚡⚡⚡⛈️⛈️🌩️🌩️🌩️⚡⚡⚡🌩️🌩️🌩️ ⚡⚡⚡🌩️🌩️🌩️ ⛈️⛈️⛈️⚡⚡⛈️⛈️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️⚡⚡🌩️🌩️🌩️⛈️⛈️⛈️⛈️🌩️ ⚡⚡⚡🌩️🌩️🌩️ ⛈️⛈️⛈️⛈️⚡⚡⛈️⛈️🌩️🌩️🌩️🌩️⚡⚡🌩️🌩️🌩️⛈️⛈️⛈️⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⛈️⛈️

good morning. i’m ready to face the day and take everything personally.

you wouldn’t last an hour in the asylum where they raised me

yes, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take, but no one makes 100% of the shots they take, either.

so write the next thing. query another agent. try a new genre. I promise, putting yourself out there gets a little less scary each time. shoot your shot, again and again.

you stay up an hour later than usual to finish an enchanting book

🌙💖🎀