I need to spend money or i will pass out

Girls will say shit like “oh I haven’t played Mario kart in a while I might be kinda bad” and then wait for the countdown to hit you with “I played competitively on Japanese servers for eight years”

We live in a society

hate when i go out in public and the public be there

it’s ok to be dehydrated as long as you’re having fun <3

“gummy vitamins are useless” oh i didn’t realize having a regularly scheduled scrumptious little morsel was “useless” but ok

me risking my job, career and future for an extra 10 minute’s sleep every morning:

give me her corgis

british people can finally stop faking their accent and talk normally

we’re not really friends if we haven’t nearly died in a car together

saying go piss girl when someone needs to pee is just as respectful and important as saying bless u when someone sneezes and i stand by that.

i’ll be home for quismoiss

I had a negative thought about Robert pattinson and a fog entered my apartment

“thank god it’s the weekend” me Saturday and Sunday: