Every ex hates the first jokes after the breakup.

A White person telling me about racism is like me telling a woman about sexism. I ain’t qualified.

Roy Jones "YA'LL MUSTA FORGOT" belongs in the pantheon of athlete hip hop forget what you heard from Randolph Terrance ListenToLeon Tim D. Miller Comedy @LeftistPanda youtube.com/watch?v=fTkOwa…

Of COURSE Jay Cutler and Tomi Lahren are dating. I’m sure they bonded over a mutual love of this country and lack of accuracy

Check out Andy Kline and Randolph Terrance on TWO new episodes of the Read The Room podcast with Tim D. Miller Comedy. Listen here: readtheroom.podbean.com

Happy Monday! We've got online stand-up this week -- open mic on Thursday, then Read the Room Online hosted by Tim D. Miller Comedy on Friday.

Nigger - Donald Trump

I never knew how many grown men were sooooo passionate about women’s gymnastics.

Happy Monday! This week you can catch The Overachievers on Wednesday, then Tony Rock Thursday through Sunday. DMV comedy rules in the lounge, starting with a crowd work show from Tim D. Miller Comedy on Thursday.

Our New Year's resolution was to have more last-minute schedule changes and we are KILLING IT. This weekend: Excellent showcase lineup in our main showroom! dcimprov-com.seatengine.com/events/53581 Kasha Patel Tim D. Miller Comedy Bentwaht ParisSashay Jos. A. West Bank

Full lineup for next week ... Thursday 9:45 show just added! Stavros Halkias Tim D. Miller Comedy #UmarKhan dcimprov-com.seatengine.com/events/51424

Tonight in our lounge! Just $10 for these good times ... dcimprov-com.seatengine.com/shows/172743

Trying to help Chris out.

I almost helped.

Spider-Man should’ve been notified.

I’m so tired of the praises for the Black person who is forced to calmly absorb racist abuse because they know if they retaliate in anyway they will be punished. Keep your “they are so strong and brave for the way they handled themselves” to your damn self

Two busy showrooms tonight ... The Washington Roast | DC’s Comedy in the main room and Tim D. Miller Comedy for a SOLD OUT "Read the Room" in the lounge.

we gotta stop letting journalists play themselves in movies. what is the best possible reaction i as an audience member can have to seeing jake tapper in glass onion? it must be better than the reaction i actually did have which was "look at this phony motherfucker."

They gerrymandered the shit out of some of these Emmy categories.

They know we miss them.