THAT WASN'T ME, DAMN IT!!! Chris Langtiw Note to guy in suit in @DonnasCafe: Your cologne is thick enough to choke a horse. Less is more.

Had a weekend seminar with The_Management and the consensus is that you shall all rue the day. We don't know what day. Updates to follow.

I know how to treatise a lady. Scholars?

Attn Death Star Recruiter: It's been 24 hours since the tractor beam's been down. We NEED that tractor beam! For the THING. YOU know. The THING.

Attn staff: ***Yes. It is Monday. AGAIN. Consider yourself ordered to suck it up princess, and get back to work!*** As you were.

Having Death Star Recruiter play the song "Elvira" by the Oak Ridge Boys. On Repeat. ALL DAY. You're welcome #GiddyUp #OomPoppa #OomPoppa #MowMow

We kid lots about Ewoks but seriously, they're great for throwing down cliffs to see who can get theirs to go furthest. #EwokAndRoll

People saying Darth Vader is dead inside: that is COMPLETELY untrue. He is AT LEAST 18.6% biological underneath the armour.

Oh Greisy A. Pérez, you know how it is. You blow up ONE PLANET and there's no end to the paperwork.Which redhead? I'm partial to them, you know. ;)

Have a sense of humor. Without a sense of humor, a relationship lasts about as long David Duke at a Black Panther meeting.

Umm...Boba Fett, I'm going to need to you to talk to accounting for me on Monday. They won't approve massage charges on my expense report

*You are my sunshine...my only sunshine...you make me happy...when skies are gray...* #musicstuckinmyhead

Just what the hell is a "time lord" anyway? Honestly. Can we live in the REAL world for a while? And get me a S'more from the replicator!

Word on the Holonet says the Chiss plan to sue James Cameron for Avatar. They shall have full access to my legal team. It's better than UFC!

:( Emperor Palpatine There's a draft in my throne room. Somebody keeps turning off the h-- Oh. Very funny The_Management. No raise this month

In space, nobody thanks God it's Friday. GET BACK TO WORK!!!

Wednesday, sorry to have to tell you, but we're moving in a different direction, reorg-ing staff and, well, you're fired. Get the hell out.

New Service! External Business Training: We teach you nothing but obvious rhetoric, feed you cheap baked goods and charge a fortune! GENIUS!

Wonder if I can have Boba Fett eviscerate the man who invented board meetings... And can't we just call it what it is? #BOREDmeetings!

RT Death Star PR ALL STAFF: smoking on the Death Star is prohibited. Killing employees is a privilege reserved exclusively for Upper Mgmt