Kids today will never know the struggle of standing in line at Macy's waiting to get concert tickets through TicketMaster.

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🏆 Congratulations Jeff the 4th!

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Apologies about the mis-Jeff… chocolate coma

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🏆 Congratulations Draggin Father Behind!

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🏆 Congratulations Terri Paella Piñata!

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🏆 Congratulations Josh!

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🏆 Congratulations Josh!

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🏆 Congratulations Doc Gregith!

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🏆 Congratulations not now!

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🏆 Congratulations Not You Again.!

🇨🇦 Dimps of the North has chosen your tweet for recognition in this weekend’s contest for excellence in tweeting.

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Glue to make the ❤️ stay sold separately

Four of us at close quarters? Never thought I'd be stuck in a whole with you.

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🏆 Congratulations Mom in the Wild!

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🏆 Congratulations Borey!

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Sorry. Just being apologetically me.

Not lazy. Strategically putting off home repairs to keep the next “it’s always something” at bay.

Accidentally stealing an orange flavored Airhead from your kid’s goody bag may result in flashbacks to the time your mom brought home store brand Tang.

I can’t goto gym because of couch

I know what childbirth feels like I’ve stepped on Lego