Streams of consciousness with ad breaks every 2 minutes

A friend recently came back from China. He spoke in wondrous terms about how safe and clean it was, how easy it was to buy stuff and get it delivered. And he casually mentioned his friend rushing to dinner because her social credit score would get dinged if she was late.

Politeness is either politeness or fear.

Everything should come with a side of cake.

A Sesame Street song about the number 7, and also about showing compassion for others.

Originally aired in 1971, this song was written by Bud Luckey and Donald Hadley, and sung by Turk Murphy

The Alligator King 🐊💚

If there was anything my dad taught me it was to quit my bellyaching. Never ever bellyache.

My Paul Giamatti impression required learning to speak while inhaling.

I had to get a shot today but it's ok, they gave me a Scooby Doo bandaid.

*takes a knee in front of kindergarteners*
the rain that you see in the movies is not real. it’s man-made. by machines. fake. now, the rain that you see in real life? outside? that’s made by god who is crying because your parents have fallen behind on their bowflex payments

Scottish artist Elizabeth Blackadder, Cat among the Tulips, c.1988 #womensart #April

Alice Neel (American, 1900-1984) - Light, 1980

Sometimes my neighbors ask me to babysit their pool while they're out of town and I really don't know why I don't move into an apartment instead of subjecting myself to such misery.

He violated the sacred NPR code of Omerta and tonight he sleeps with the fishes

C̶h̶i̶k̶i̶n̶
C̶h̶i̶k̶k̶o̶n̶
C̶h̶e̶e̶c̶k̶a̶n̶

lucid dreams are a lot like computer screens

Morven (left) has cast her antlers in the last few days, whereas her mum Spy (right) cast hers earlier in the winter and so has a head start on Morven! They both tend to grow big antlers so we hope they'll have a great spring & summer ahead of them and find lots of good grazing!

To Toto, just about anything can be a plaything… a Keepers’ boot, a garden rake, even a haybale. His indomitable, playful spirit has been a constant even during his worst health complications - a sign this tiny elephant is a real fighter: sheldrickwildlifetrust.org/orphans/toto

Just put some more ewes and lambs out. Strong smell of fox and one of the white Ryeland ewes bleating with only one white lamb with her. Just spent 20 mins looking for her second, only to remember it was black and was right there all along. Think I need more sleep 🤪🙄

Giganotosaurus vs. T. rex is as big as it gets

You can call me your little general tso's lunch special with side of vegetable lo mein if you wanna