“Kids? I am vengeance, ok? I am the night. So just, y’know, keep that in mind.”

I just wanna travel the world

I ask for advice and still do what I want 😂

NOT THE YELLOW ROSE

Elon Musk told the United Nations he would give them $6 billion to end world hunger if they showed him a detailed plan of how they would use the money. They called his bluff and gave him their plan— and then they never got the money. Now he’s buying Twitter for $45 billion.

A guy my age was telling me how happy he was that his wife just gave birth to their fourth child then was like “sorry, don’t mean to brag” and it’s like, oh no worries, your life literally sounds terrible to me

When President Clinton banned assault rifles in 1994, mass shootings dropped by 43%. After Republicans let the ban expire in 2004, they increased by 243% — please don’t tell me bans don’t work, because I don’t want to hear it.

i will restart the entire song if u talk over it idc

I’m here for the women who get abortions just because they want to. No explanation. If she does not want to be pregnant, that’s a good enough reason to me. I truly do not care. I’m done playing this morality game.

don’t forget your starbiesss todayyy

This time, four months ago, It was a normal day. I was at my office getting a booklet made for each of my coworkers that would show their growth in their skills to help get them raises. 2 hours from then, I’d get a call that would shatter my world. My wife called, screaming

i want to live in an america where biden & trump are geeked out at the afters, huggin each other saying "i love u man" until the sun comes up

Michael nobody is worried about gluten anymore, just make my shit wet as fuck and we will call it a day. I’ll let this slide because those miss vickies are looking nice but other than that please get back to posting soaking wet subs, make that shit mikes way bitch

some girl just crashed into me and we both didn’t know what to do so we called our dads and we’re just standing here holding our phones together so our dads can talk to each other 🧍🏻‍♀️