King Charles I and King Charles II both dissolved Parliament. I’m just saying…

A Prime Minister may fall today. Soak up the history, guys. Days like today only come around every couple of months

General. Election. Now. Or take to the streets …. Five Prime Ministers in six years. Just fuck off. All of them

Looking forward to receiving £115,000 a year for life for spending 45 days doing a job more incompetently than anyone in history.

I cannot stop thinking about Suella Braverman’s wedding photos

At this point, does anyone actually think the 'migrant crisis' isn't completely manufactured?

I said goodbye to a patient a few years ago. She didn’t die, she just got old. I treat patients to age 21 and they move on. When they do, I joke, “well, I did my job! I kept you alive until adulthood!” With this kid, it was not a joke. 1/

Thousands expected to attend London rally to demand general election theguardian.com/business/2022/…

This is the future the atheists want x.com/yooitsquen/sta…

Something genuinely incredible seems to be happening right now, which last happened with Theresa May. Namely, the prime minister appears to have totally lost his confidence and self-belief. Once it happened to her it was terminal. And it’s happened to him after two weeks.

Chocolate covered raisins count as one of my five a day, right?

I am doomed ! My eight year god daughter borrowed my beard trimmers and removed her long blonde hair whilst I was making custard. Her parents do not pick her up until tomorrow lunch time. She is happy as Larry, actually looks good with a crew cut. I am doomed

Hi folks, it’s time for the results of #5albums79 Over 850 took part nominating 285 different albums. As predicted, two heavyweights went head to head in this one, with The Clash just pipping Joy Division at the top, both strong contenders going forward. Here’s the 8 qualifiers..

Broke my heart watching Panorama last night, what a sad, broken little country the UK has become!

If they play Xmas songs in Hell I'm betting it's a continuous loop of that awful Paul McCartney song - Wonderful Christmas time. Is there a worse Xmas song?

My shower gel is £1 but my washing up liquid is £2. Why am I spending twice as much to clean my plates as I am to clean myself? We're both covered in the same pasta sauce.

I don't know how Phillip Schofield and Holly Willoughby kept it together this This Morning #MiriamMargolyes #ThisMorning #DatingAdvice 🤦‍♀️