Yael (@yaelisms) 's Twitter Profile
Yael

@yaelisms

murder, she twote

ID: 1252655614184034311

calendar_today21-04-2020 17:49:14

178 Tweet

1,1K Followers

1,1K Following

Yael (@yaelisms) 's Twitter Profile Photo

I dare you to eat this raw hamburger patty. No way. Ok I put a raw egg yolk and a garnish on it. I’ll pay you $32 plz let me eat it.

Yael (@yaelisms) 's Twitter Profile Photo

My mom says I should join a synagogue to “be a part of something”. Woman, I’m in 4 group chats my ‘belonging’ is too much.

Yael (@yaelisms) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Sometimes I feel bad that I don’t do enough community service but yesterday I placed a tissue over someone’s bloody pad in a public bathroom bin so I think I’m karmically ok.

Yael (@yaelisms) 's Twitter Profile Photo

When will airlines understand no announcement is ever worth interrupting my movie. Not even if the plane is going down. I’d rather die blissfully watching minions 3.

Yael (@yaelisms) 's Twitter Profile Photo

If I was a tik tok therapist peddling my prewritten let-down text it would be: “I’m sorry I couldn’t make it - I was going with the flow, and the flow was not going in your direction”