When I was a senior in high school, I had a friend whose favorite band was Hanson I waited 21 years to admit that

Fuck off internet meme, you don't fucking know me

So...Elon Musk let Andrew Tate back on Twitter, and Tate promptly used it to reveal his whereabouts to authorities in Romania who then arrested him. All because Greta Thunberg owned him so hard his little wee-wee fell off. Do I have that right? Please say I have that right.

this is like someone ran into the room, out of breath, and frantically announces whats happening

His ass in those pants *bites fist*

You ever find out someone doesn't like you because of who you are? Fucking rough

I’m gonna say one more time. MSG is not bad for you. I will die on this hill.

First of all DO NOT address me as “Honey” if you’re coming to tell me you just SHRUNK the damn KIDS.

What a dumbass time to be alive

I'm at an age now where i can't tell between high beams or regular lights on a vehicle

For people who’ve experienced verbal or physical abuse, there’s a lingering feeling that: I am in trouble, I’ve done something wrong, or a constant questioning if we’ve upset someone.

My favorite pastime is pointing out a closeted bisexual man Sup, my boy?

You know what happens when you only log into this app a couple times a week? Nothing

I'm at a bar and they keep talking about the super bowl and I straight up had to Google when that is this year I love my life

Do NOT randomly say "good girl" around me Wtf is wrong with you?

Brb Vans is having a sale

You don't have to take your Christmas tree down if you never put one up in the first place Think smarter not harder

Flirting is like riding a bicycle Why bother, just drive

yeah sex is cool but have you ever seen the dinner party episode of The Office?