The able-bodied 30-year-old who spends all day playing video games but is also enrolled in Medicaid is today's version of Reagan's welfare queen: there are a few of him out there, but it's mostly a myth Republicans have concocted to justify booting eligible ppl off Medicaid.

Let’s live dangerously!

And here we are…

Could you even imagine Biden saying this about say, Arkansas or some shit?

I wish Google had memories like Facebook where it would say on this day 6 years ago you googled “is Bruno mars gay” and “how to stop diarrhea”

Umm, I believe that I was told that electing Trump would result in no wars and lower gas and grocery prices.

How is this how I find out about this weird little thing? He likes cats, Billie Elish and the Golden girls?! Damn you Mickalodeon!

🥹 damn it Nickelodeon, how could you?

They did not.

How is this real life? What the hell happened to his hands?

Sir, what is the reason for wanting a divorce? She talks during movies. What, like, tries to have a conversation? No. She repeats every single line of the movie during the whole movie. Wife slams down her hand on the desk. “You knew who I was when you married me!”

I’m sorry but how am I expected to not shout “Hey you, get your damn hands off her!” while watching Back to the Future?

Sign me up. Nothing like hating a book half way through and finishing it until the end just so the book can reinforce how much you hate it.

This sounds exactly like what someone that doesn’t have to grocery shop would say. Like what someone who has never stepped foot into a grocery store would say.

They’re putting the job reports next to the Epstein list.

My 12 year old daughter just found out that I have kept all of her baby teeth. She has informed me that she absolutely does not want them ever, under any circumstances, and I should have just thrown them away. Parenthood is wild.

Me- Girl, don’t you know what patience is? 8 year old daughter- Yeah. I just don’t have any.

12 year old daughter wants a $35 Owala water bottle for school. Husband- Wait, that’s how much those things are?! Don’t we already own 3 of them?! Daughter- Yeah, but those are only 24oz, I need the 32oz. Husband- Just take 2. Problem solved.