#ImACelebrity with a bad Comb Over

Has he been thrown out of an other party ..think about it #JohnsonOutNow

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo? One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter. #WednesdayMotivation #iwillgetmycoat #ToxicAttraction

#ReasonsToGetBoosted You never know, you might get lucky and get a sexy nurse to jab you !

#Theweakestlink is due to crap recycled metal

Have you met the wife #Taskmaster

Why when waiting for a cauliflower,do two cauliflowers turn up at the same time #allotment #spring #visitbradford

Look what been hiding in my allotment... How sneaky... #GardeningTwitter #SpringBreak #SpringEquinox

My first #ebay advert . #MarvelComics #Marvel #DisneyPlus #retweet #submariner ebay.co.uk/itm/1549437491…

Does anyone retweet there own stuff . I do

Am a 40 yr old virgin #FunnyExcusesToCancelPlans

#FranklyMyDearIDont care .

Rachel Riley from #countdown has calculated that you have a 6 to 1 chance of a bus turning up in #westyorkshire. However,she is going to get back to me by the end of the week, to tell me the probability of a bus turning up on time.#raremypun

Just googling who's on strike in the UK ...

I can spot a boring people. there usually talking about them selfs #BoringButUsefulSuperPowers

Always roll your eye when you can smell a bull hit #WordsOfWisdomFor2023

With love kindness and a bag of lime if your bad #WaysWomenWin

#IfIRanTheOverlookHotel we would have peanut butter and jam toasties

#IBlameDaylightSaving for the wall street crash

#IBlameDaylightSaving for my hard boiled eggs