Everybody who is alive is a survivor, and everybody who is dead isn't. #vonnegut #wisdom

I'm sorry I accused you of smelling of Tunafish earlier.

I have a crush on those short dudes with nice calves.

Sundie No Undies

Jesus tits--what crawled up your butt and died?

Power napping in the car #hungover #champ

No, dear. I never throw away love letters.

What a fool I would have been to let self-respect interfere with my happiness!

I've lived a disreputable lifestyle, but I've done it in style. I intend to die the same way. #americanhorrorstory

Sometimes 'convenient' is just another word for 'depressing.'

Watching Ancient Aliens marathon e'ry day #ancientaliens #xfiles

Google is now my mother and my father #google #future

It's breakup season again. Watch yo babes.

I don't have pet peeves. I have major psychotic fucking hatreds. It makes the world easier to sort out. #georgecarlin

A life without wine is just cheese #wino #happy #classy

Don't beg, hustle harder. #dannybrown #christmaswisdom

You're eating your Pringles too slow. They're kinda stale. You're supposed to eat them all in one setting. #pringles

90% of the people in this world are fools and the rest of us are in danger of contagion. #x-files

I think they're called "Chuggable Arrangements" Maggie Menderski

Anybody else think of King Diamond during the Chinga episode of X-files? #kingdiamond #X-files