Fool me once i kill myself on the spot

Now that all the noise died down about the Pope dying and the next Pope hasn’t been chosen, in this temporary gap of leadership there hasn’t been a more opportune time in history to be able to steal the catalytic converter off the Popemobile than there is right now.

you are ticklish bro you just haven’t seen my techniques

eating apple slices with peanut butter and climaxing so hard it looks like i’m being put to death in an electric chair

watching nature documentary and screaming and crying everytime the animals fight and eat each other

spent $30 on cookies today

beatboxing to myself softly to sleep

wow i’m gonna kill myself

the urge to get high as soon as i open my eyes

You need to spend this whole summer doing shrooms and staring at your own reflection

⠀

if i was jeff probst i would carry a pocket full of peanuts and make the islanders fight each other for them

sometimes when i’m high everything is funny but mostly im scared

Smoked during lunch break to relax but now I’m high as fuck at work

i get high in public and dig in my tote bag for 20 minutes

told a beautiful receptionist i liked her necklace and when she gave me my paperwork she printed out the link for it too

when i get really high i think about how retarded i am and it makes my heart beat so fast it starts to hurt

now that i ruined everything im so fucking free