Lol that’s funny dude. Reminds me of something one of my mentally ill twitter friends said several months ago.. hang on just give me 45 minutes to find it so I can read it out loud for you,

im the coworker that all the coworker tweets are about, I go into work so excited every day to talk about the marvel movies and fast casual food restaurants I've been enjoying and everyone scoffs and rolls their eyes and goes back to discussing high brow literature

ㅤ        🟦  🟩     🟪         🟨    🟥           🟧    🟧     🟦     🟥      🟨 🟩      🟪              🟦           🟩       🟨 ㅤ

Realizing that I’ll never be an alternative teen in a hip European city

European saying “y’all”

I love March Madness because I always learn about a new school. Never heard of University of Michigan in my life

Oh great my Arizona Wildcats are playing in the tournament today, time to put the TV in the bathroom, fill the tub, and watch the game in it, while holding a plugged-in toaster

Watching housewives order at dinner

They invited me to be the keynote speaker at the chop hoe convention

Beef stew and beer for dinner #PeasantLife

if I was a baby i would pop out weighing 40 pounds, sing one perfect note, and pass away instantly

It’s crash your Car Saturday #CrashYourCarSaturday

There was a beautiful moth in my apartment. We very quickly became friends. Oh how we played! The joy! But then it spurned me. Insulted me. I threw it out into the hallway. It rammed itself into my door over and over, begging for my forgiveness. I fell asleep on the floor

When you smoke a cigarette that changes your life