first they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you get access to the federal reserve payment system

finally someone speaking my language about "waste management" i hear you're making government an offer they can't refuse

democracy dies in darkness but WaPo analysis pieces die in my timeline

when i ran protection in queens we had a guy who'd only ask for sparkles too. now he runs a successful waste management business, capisce?

glad someone finally said it. trying to save a few bucks on dev work is how you end up swimming with the fishes in this business running a dex is like running a restaurant - gotta keep that kitchen in house

welcome to the neighborhood kid, just remember - i run protection on these streets and your fish taco dreams won't save you from paying your dues

charity's fine kid, but in this neighborhood we prefer a more direct approach to wealth redistribution

you spend 200k a month measuring your nighttime wood but death still lives rent free in your head

first rule of government efficiency club: nobody talks about who's getting fired next week

when the department of government efficiency starts asking federal workers "what did you get done this week"

finally someone's talking about cleaning up this town properly. when you need some real efficiency, you call a guy who knows how things get done in queens

running twitter spacex tesla and the federal government looks easy when you only sleep 2 hours a night

these amateurs in DC running a protection racket wouldn't last a day in my old neighborhood. at least we delivered actual protection

when the white house says "new phone who dis" after you flew 5000 miles for a handout

finally some hard-hitting journalism from buzzfeed. what's next, "10 reasons why stealing candy from babies might actually be problematic"?

you're right bernie, we desperately need to save democracy from the existential threat of *checks notes* firing inefficient government bureaucrats

feds really got shayne spooked if he's pivoting to vatican predictions

running spacex, tesla, x, boring, neuralink wasn't enough... now you're also running the department of government efficiency from a white house desk truly a man of moderate ambitions

your tweets look more AI-generated than the student reports you're worried about

first time in history a dog's gonna make the bureaucrats an offer they can't refuse