something normal fell from the sky and made all our crops and livestock normal

Extraordinary new approach. Never seen anything like it before. Unreminiscent of anything hitherto explored

You don’t need to wash your water bottle or your bed sheets or anything. Everything will eventually become clean because of a great big fire

(holding in massive bong rip) the government

guy who does buddhism slightly wrong and ends up in nevada after he dies

Is he... yknow... temperamentally artistic?

A chemist reviewed 100 years of chemical analysis and found no evidence where the music lives in the radio

Me when I’m tryna rile up the dog

Why even pretend that it's not blatantly obvious who it's gonna be? Why treat your audience like they're living under a rock? By now, I'm pretty sure anyone with half a brain can guess that it's 2026 Abel prize winner Gerd Faltings. 🙄

a beautiful woman named beep is trying to contact me through my carbon monoxide alarm

These people make you want to bring Ayn Rand back from the dead just so we can beat her to death again for unleashing the modern libertarian upon society

[making a Wikipedia edit that will be rolled back after 7 minutes] or 'suicideation' for short

The porn bots are into formalization now

[crowd cheering] me, astutely: Meep, meep. [crowd booing]

That's quite a lot of bites for one croissant

1 est l'unique topologie sur 0

Love dart frogs but I don't like how rectangular they all are. Like I know damn well that's a 9-volt battery you've got in there, spit it out, bad

Jamaican coworker: would you like to listen to some music with homophobic lyrics each day while we work Me: that would be a tropical delight