If light is in your heart, you will find your way home. #Rumi #writing

What’s an image painted by words in a book you’ve read that was so vivid, you’ve never forgotten it.

Whenever someone says “I got food poisoning,” I know that means they just ate some bad food, but I always imagine some medieval king whose enemies are trying to take him out without starting an all out war. “Methinks that twisted Horace meaneth to snuff me out!”

That little hoppy, jog walk thing we do when someone in their car is waiting for to cross the street is the same thing we do when someone is holding the door open for us and we’re still really far away.

I know running is supposed to be good for you and all, but I’ve never seen one person look happy while running, except for in slow motion scenes in a movie right before something happens to them.

Serving sizes are ridiculous. They’re like “34 grams of chips is 150 calories,” oh yes, let me just get my weights and measures scale that I used to sell spices at the village market this weekend.

Most people make the mistake of only asking 1-3 times if their kids have homework due tomorrow. The real trick is to ask 12-14 times, that’s when things really start to pay off.

What do you want to do tonight? Well I’ll tell you what I DIDN’T want to do…clean the melted coating of sour patch kids off of the inside of the dryer from the open bag someone washed and then dried.

Really enjoying the Writing Day Workshops (Writers Conferences) today in Franklin, TN! Great advice and solid content!

What’s the human equivalent of a dog wagging its tail?

When this was Twitter our posts were called tweets so now that it’s X are they called ex’s?

The two most immediately unsettling smells are dentist’s office and airport bathroom.

I’m hungry and my stomach just made that sound all the kids in the class make when someone gets called to the office…

Just a reminder to all the other exemplary children who definitely did not forget Mother’s Day or procrastinate getting a mom a gift, #MothersDay it’s tomorrow.

LinkedIn sending me notifications

The final episode of every TV series feels like that moment right before you leave the house for a long vacation where everything is complete anxiety filled chaos and nothing makes sense. “Did I even pack?!” “We have to leave immediately!” Bring that loaf of bread just in case!

Sure sleep is great, but have you ever tried sleeping for a short 20 minute bursts all night and waking up completely drenched in sweat from anxiety about things like when does the milk expire and did I miss the sale on linens at JCPenney?

I love it when people come over to your house for the first time and say “give me the grand tour” OK here’s the place where I usually put the laundry, here’s some water damage and here’s a rug I literally bought yesterday. Here’s a toilet. I hope I flushed…