Why does everyone assume a detective is a private investigator. No. I'm not. You cannot book me to see if your wife is ch/ating on you. I do not have the authority.

//TW Food// Louis stole my egg sandwich.

Some people ask me, Janice they say, why don't you put your dog in a cage when he misbehaves. The truth is I don't want him to associate cages with punishment, it's a way of transportation.

Is it unprofessional to have a Twitter.

Six more years.

This is a. Weird investigation. I'm not quite sure what to make of this.

i do not yearn. i could never yearn. i am not gay.

A cigarette?

I DO NOT SMOKE

What was that. Christ.

Perhaps a different case today. One less "high risk". Mm.

JANICE: Opera is so cool! Mom said you were moving away. Why are you moving away, Uncle Cecil? Uncle Carlos says you don’t have to move if you don’t want to! Will you still come to my birthday party?

Mm. Music.

Oh Fuck.

I don't get paid enough to follow this man through a wax museum.

Sorry everyone, I just got out of the hospital. I thought it best I avoid social media for my stay.

Okay. Before I investigate this case. Does anyone have anything to say about this yellow door.

A man gave me a flower today and his number. Not sure what to do with this.