What’s the fucking point 🤨

Old MacDonald was holding a calculator upside-down, 01313.

At 1.30pm we ate a stinky baked camembert. Twas delicious. 4 hours later, however, my hands STILL smell of stinky cheese despite having cleansed them.a multitude of times!

I wish I believed in anything as much as my 1 year old believes every superhero in every book or advert is Batman.

I've lost him now but saw an old fella replying something nice to someone, clicked on his profile, his TL was 50% him with his grandkids or cooing over his lady friend, 50% RTs of gaping axe wounds he was offering to eat.

If you're not doing so already, follow @Tattooed_Mummy for just being bloody lovely. I don't cry, but I came close to it. 😘😘😘

Right, back to my (insert yawn emoji here cos I don't even know where it is and I'm not learning its whereabouts!) cross stitch. And the Man in the High Castle. Happy Saturday y'all. Be nice to each other. Aka Don't be a fucking cunt!!🤩

I'm all about paying it forward. Someone who brings joy to my timeline is Ben Cameron So I'm going to visit his Etsy store & get myself a family of bears for my wall with 6 of my ko-fis. If sweary cross stitch isn't your thing, pickles with faces should be! doodlesbyben

There’s a very poorly girl from Essex who requires urgent treatment in America, If you’re able to donate anything at all please look up The one pound warriors or follow the link below. Please retweet, thank you xxxx facebook.com/groups/7812551… gofundme.com/f/help-lily-ba…

Heating has gone again, less than a month after it was fixed😭😭😭😭 It is soooo cold.

Here. That’s how Twitter really works. I inflict you with hundreds of the best tweets around, and you RT them too and EVERYBODY has a great time! Thank you!

👌

Just tweeting from here to stop Elongated muscle pain from deleting me. Buy my stuff from Jen Furby The X Stitcher Ⓜ️A thank you please.

"Ah, Nosferatu." "We've never met." "Oh, sorry, Nosferavous"