How I feel going to work for the rest of my life knowing this mf got rich and famous for making a bj joke

I hope everyone leaves milk and cookies out tonight for George.

one of the greatest movies in the world

wasn’t gonna drink tonight but i miss one direction like a mf

“my intrusive thoughts won” all u did was eat a donut?? that’s not an intrusive thought. if my intrusive thoughts won i’d be on the news

i always hated the show bar rescue. like what do you mean you need to fix the shitty dive bar that over pours its drinks and the bartender gets drunk every shift? that place is beautiful already

Legitimately one of the funniest memes that's come out of this election

cooking sober - well this fucking sucks . what the fuck cooking drunk- haha fuck yeah !! Yes !!! I am like the rat from Ratatouille

telling myself i’m too self aware for therapy as i repeat a pattern of behavior i’ve been trying to break since age 14

just had my year end review and they've decided they're gonna put me down

I quit smoking for a week so I could sit with my actual feelings and decipher them. Moral of the story is, me smoking has kept a lot of people from meeting my sword and dying by its blade.

my boyfriend escaped last night. If you find him please let me know. i am worried sick. he is an indoor boyfriend and has never been outside

if anyone ever startles Emma again i’ll freak the fuck out and set everything on fire

i DON’T smoke the devil’s lettuce, i smoke the lord’s loud

i hope every lover girl finds her super calm gentleman who is unashamedly and insanely obsessed with her

sometimes you show up to work and they just torture you for hours