Me: Are Medusa’s pubes snakes too?
Accountant: I meant questions about your tax return.

'I'm Mr. Sterling's right hand arm... man. I'm his confidante, his best friend, his me espresso...'

'His what?'

'His me espresso.'

'Is that what he calls you?'

'No.'

“Oh, just the crimes” all time banger

thereis

AN

U
p
T
Ow
N

EXPRESS

2

TRAIN

TO

wakefieldtwohundredandfortyfirststreet

approaching the station.

I have seen probably half of CHALLENGERS just through screenshots already and some of y’all need to relax I’m going to be so honest

I don’t want to be that guy but are you all just posting the entire movie on the TL first day it’s out

the real hate reads were the friends we made along the way 🥹

went to see Stereophonic and late in the play when a female character reveals a big secret, a man behind us leaned over to his friend and whispered (“whispered”), “Stevie Nicks.”

i’m sorry it lost the grammy to fucking what

“the horrors persist but so do we” actually the horrors are kind of lapping me right now

Hey babe do you think your hottest friend would want to see challengers with us. also can I talk to you about something

“There’s some kind of misunderstanding here. We’re Chalamet fans, okay?”

“Okay…well what KIND of Chalamet fan are you?”

realizing today I’ve been conflating Alix Earle with Alex Cooper