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They’re just taking a break like Ross and Rachel did.

We are the TMZ of countries

Sometimes Friends Grow Apart, Charlie Brown (TV-G, 2025)

What I’m dreading is the make-up sex between those two.

D-Day 1944: 156,000 men land on Normandy Beach D-Day 2025: 156,000 men land on Lily Philips

I’m just a girl standing in front of cup of low-fat Greek yogurt asking it to be a donut

What part of “circumlocutory avouchment obnubilated by ontological tautology” don’t you understand?

I don’t know about you but when I see a group of terrorists about to strike I think “Someone get a smirking frat boy doing a Dr. Evil impression!”

I need a job that I can’t be fired from for being bad at it, like a MLB umpire or a court room sketch artist.

Kids, when I was your age “The Battle of Los Angeles” was just the name of a Rage Against The Machine album.

The scientist who discovered gravity waves has finally admitted that gravity was waving at someone standing behind him.

I majored in Astronomy, Ophthalmology, International Cuisine & Italian. My senior thesis was titled “Amore: When The Moon Hits Your Eye Like A Big Pizza Pie”

Where there’s a will there’s an inheritance. No YOU shut up!

Growl Growl Growl Growl -Bears repeating No YOU shut up!

Why does Ozzy say “I am Iron Man” when he’s Fe male? No YOU shut up!

I've been to a few rodeos, and trust me, they did not make me feel smarter

“gen z isn’t drinking alcohol” ok more for me

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth deploying the Marines to L.A. 🎶From the halls of Mont Blanc Voddddddd-ka to the shores of Triple Sec🎶

Not saying that I’m bored but I just watched Bobby Flay filet a beet on Beat Bobby Flay.

I’m at Sam’s Club if anyone needs 300 batteries.