Just a man walking his goose..

when you’re being mean to me just know this is who you’re being mean to

killing myself POSTPONED!!!!!

Today I ate fried rice and that’s all I’ve accomplished

every single woman and mother looking at this knows exactly what this is going to be almost exclusively used for

just learned unfortunate news related to the cost of ice-skating lessons

Always our Captain. We love you, Andre.

Putting a baby in a freezer would kill it, but freezing embryos keeps them alive. That's why an embryo isn't a baby. Hope that helps if you're very stupid <3

BREAKING: Man eats a full jar of cheeseballs in Union Square Park today. For the last 2 weeks, his posters promoting the challenge were spotted across the city. Today he made history. Cheeseballman427’s identity is unknown but he’s a local hero to many NYC patrons. We expect

she had no right serving this much cvnt

busy day today

mood

Having evil behavior urges. Won’t act out because I’m extremely well adjusted and normal

i’m a little drunk and crying in my bathtub right now because this kitten is just so brave