“Keir Starmers a Wanker” at the darts 🎯 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻

Good morning, Shabana Mahmood MP. ☀️

The Ashes is upon us… England has a better team, a better captain, and better management. The Urn is coming home, and I genuinely think we’ll beat Australia either 4-0 or 5-0. Good luck ⁦Ben Stokes⁩ and your team of swashbuckling Bazballers. No mercy - destroy! 👊👊

The Covid Inquiry - a summary: Hey, guys, you know that really dumb thing we did in 2020 that bankrupted the country, destroyed jobs, collapsed the NHS, ruined children's education and mental health, smashed our civil liberties and will cost more lives than it saved? Yeah, well

A Manchester music icon and a passionate, lifelong Red. Our deepest condolences go out to the loved ones of Gary ‘Mani’ Mounfield 🙏

🦆 🦆 bugger! #Ashes2025 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿75/3 😳

Was Stone Roses all the way to work this morning, great memories of driving round a sandy place in ‘91 in a 14 tonne with it blasting out the ghetto blaster wired up to the vehicle batteries. #foolsgold

At least we had one good day 🧐🏏 I think preperation questions and gonna be in the press conference after the match 😳 Australia raised their game 2nd innings with ball and bat

We’ve been dry bummed in this 2nd Innings 🏴󠁧󠁢󠁥󠁮󠁧󠁿 #Ashes

First Prem game after international break and Lucy Ward is on co comms. Really quite depressing. Back to Stranger Things 4.

#KeirStarmer. The new Joe Biden. 🙈🫣😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅

Two decent derbies today and Villa smashing Leeds at home, all jobs completed by midday and fridge full of Magners. Decent Sunday except no bloody #Ashes to watch 😡

Annoying Call of Duty #BlackOps7 that I keep being put in lobby’s with people that have hit prestige 3 times already!

Why is Grok so slow today?

Under David Lammy’s jury reforms, the fate of an individual may rest in the hands of a single official, handpicked by the state. What could possibly go wrong?

Hope everyone has got there lube ready for tomorrows no clue budget, especially those that work hard and got a couple of quid saved. Rachel from accounts is going to roger anyone with an ounce of ambition 👍🏻

Penny Smith you’ve let the team down there I’m afraid. 40 a day Rachel from accounts chatting shit again. Well done Ellie Costello you absolutely rinsed her about back benchers! #GBNews Oh and I’m dropping my salary sacrifice contributions as soon as that happens. £2k limit.

A worker on £35k a year will be £1,400 poorer because of the freeze in income tax Yet a family with 5 kids on UC will be £10,000 better off. This is the most unfair budget in my lifetime

With Reeves plan for mileage tax on hybrid cars how will these Socialist geniuses be able to tell what mileage was electric and what mileage was petrol which had already been taxed?

I swear imma make It and when I do, they're gunna show this tweet lol