alana (@thislsntmyname) 's Twitter Profile
alana

@thislsntmyname

overly agitated and aggressive female with no maternal instincts.

ID: 741454518

calendar_today06-08-2012 21:14:12

53,53K Tweet

1,1K Followers

587 Following

alana (@thislsntmyname) 's Twitter Profile Photo

coworker told me her fiancé is suicidal bc he did something really bad to her and i said, “well maybe he shou-….” mind you, it was my first day

alana (@thislsntmyname) 's Twitter Profile Photo

girl @ the bar: “hey, my friend thinks you’re cute. do you want to dance with her?“ me: “no, but she will” *points to kae*

alana (@thislsntmyname) 's Twitter Profile Photo

so u can make jokes about my non-fictional boyfriend hitting me, but i can’t make a joke about meeting your fictional god at the college hometown bar??