I’m running away. Who’s coming with me?

Do what’s best for you. Everyone else will adjust.

I’ll never be offended by a man holding a door open for me or pulling out a chair for me.

Hey you. Yes you. I’m really fucking proud of you.

Probably gonna smoke weed until I forget my own name and continue to not give a fuck if that’s cool with you.

I’m a little bit possessive and a little bit possessed.

Sir, I’ve seen your penis. Lower your tone.

You want to be comfortable. I want to be better. We are not the same.

I’m starting to think I’m much stupider than I give myself credit for.

If your boobs bounce while you’re wielding a knife, he won’t notice the knife.

I'm glad that Halloween is behind us so we can concentrate on the truly scary holidays.

I can tell that thing bothers you. Have you tried not being bothered by that thing? Now pay me $200. ~ me as a therapist

Make your own warmth and then invite people to sit by you.

I think I’d rather catch cholera and have to use sandpaper as toilet paper than start dating again.

I love people the way I wish I had been loved and hope one day will be my turn.

Men taking my some men don't handle rejection well tweet as a personal rejection and not handling it well is peak twitter.

If you're one of those people who buy 67 lottery tickets at the gas station.. Happy holidays 🖕

Never miss an opportunity to drop a good "fuck you" on someone.

Some days I just don’t have anything to say here that won’t get me banned.

I haven’t decided whether to use my boobs for good or evil today.