UK gets 0 points from the public, Israel gets 300+ How much have I had to drink!? #eurovision2024

#NewProfilePic

Oh shit, from dawn 'til dusk. I'll try to use my TWITTER more Elon Musk. I dunno, maybe I'll use it to promote my OnlyFans... *Editors note: I DO NOT have an OnlyFans*

Previous tweet was out all of 5 seconds and the bots had a field day as I mentioned a popular upload site... Twice. Now my Eurovision cynicism has been introduced to internet horn dogs. 😂😂😂

There's Naruto Shippoden branded undies in the ladies section of my local Asda... Is anime mainsteam now? 🤔

Made a Black/Death/Melo-Death Metal playlist on Spotify yonks ago. Recently went back to it and started updating it. Didn't realize it was so full of bangers. 🤟

Absolute love it when my reaction speed is so on point I can play the current WWE game despite lag/net code issues. Even more in love when the opponent has his mic on and all I hear is "Oh, he must be cheating!" Shame I lost to the same old spam/stun lock BS. #wwe2k24

... Brain switch off. *waves right hand*

My 4 year old made me do a 4 mile round trip to go to a pub across a river for a Fruit-Shoot (other drinks are available) because he point blank refused to turn around and use the bridge we had literally just used. 🤦

Rishi Sunak has said he didn't have Sky TV as a child... ...Sky TV only became a multi-channel broadcast system under the banner of "Sky TV" in 1998, he would have been 18 at the time. 🤔 #RishiSunak #primeminister

HAWK TUAH! ... That is all

Why is everyone obsessed with how we used to clean discs in the 90s? Am I missing something? #HawkTuah

Today I have learned self produced dad bod goblin porn is a gateway to listening to Nekrogoblikon... What ever happened to word of mouth or accidentally finding then on a playlist? 😂

People are only just discovering Cannibal Corpse (Cannibal Corpse) and getting offended by their lyrics.... Wait until this discover: Infant Annihilator Aborted Anal Cunt Dying Fetus The Black Dahlia Murder Vulvectomy Putrid Pile Basically anyone @RaisedByOwlsUK sing about...

Warm Diet Coke... It's like someone asked me to commit Sudoku immediately! I know what I said...

Today I have learned: Tail lifts have safety features to prevent you turning yourself into a Short Range Tactical Dickhead...

Nobody warned me of the logistical nightmare that is doing a piss in a urinal while wearing a tutu... Second time I've been in this situation and it still feels like low grade torture. 😂 #tacticaltutu #pisslogistics #slammer2024

Got bored, started curating a Spotify Playlist of songs I used to listen to between 2000 & 2010... You know the "Formative Years". Good god did I have a crazy range... Even if it was rock & metal exclusive. 🤘

*remembers he has a Twitter/X/What-ever-the-shit-we're-calling-it-these-days* Hi?

The brain weasels have emptied my cutlery drawer, the hampster isn't in his wheel & there's a moron steering the boat... 🤦‍♂️